Everyone has a History. What do you do when it repeats itself?
The night is young so you decide to go out to drinks with your girls. As your thumb swipes through Instagram, with reckless abandon, you cross the “selfie” of a recent suitor. Your heart flutters a bit and you giggle slightly as your best girl spies the face on your screen. “Girl- Is that Chris??! Ew! Ugh… He tried to talk to me last summer. I can’t stand him! He so boring and corny and—“ At this very moment, you’re feelings are crushed. Chris has been nothing but sweet to you. You enjoy his jokes and his corniness. And what she finds boring, you seem to find sincere and rather eventful. But what now? How do you move forward knowing what he has behind him? Then, your mind wanders— “Oh! Wait!! What if they had sex?!?!!”
Game I of the NBA Playoffs just went off and you are now preparing to reenact that butt kicking with your bro who came into town for the weekend’s festivities. As the game loads, you decide to dive into twitter, headfirst, and you bump into a good ol’ #oomf subtweet from your new favorite chick. You start to type back vigorously when all of a sudden, “Man… Don’t subtweet that hoe!” Caught off guard, you reply back frantic, “Huh?” “Bro… She a hoe. I heard she used to mess with the Thunder.” Now, your mind is in shambles. The Thunder?! He didn’t say “A” Thunder. He said “THE” Thunder. That’s a team! She has a roster? How many? Dang. Who else has she been with? But I really liked her?! How could she— And…
This is Oklahoma City. Oklahoma City is a vastly emerging Market. There are new businesses sprouting up every day. New attractions. New Events. Yet, let’s look around— there aren’t very many new people popping out of the sky. While all your friends are either getting married, or pregnant, or both… Dating their off-spring is frowned upon for the next 18 years. And they say there are plenty of fish in the sea, but what if we live in a man-made lake?
The dating game is hard. Don’t make it “All-Madden” with all these extra rules, stipulations, or hoops. Dating is about opportunity. The world is small. Chances are the person you pursue will have a mutual friend that was once the apple of your eye, and there is always the “Yea, I got a homeboy that—“ conversation. Before you start deleting text threads, ask yourself, “What have I done that she wouldn’t agree with? Who have I tried to date that she may not like?” We all have a history. When are we mature enough to look past our pasts and start planning our futures? She dated a fraternity brother you don’t even like and didn’t even know before he was frat… Are you going to de-friend her on facebook? He tried to “talk to” your friend before he even knew you existed. But isn’t she your friend for a reason? She’s a pretty girl and a reflection of you, right?
In a city filled with ordinary people, who know just as much, if not less, as you do about finding happiness in true loving relationships and dating, why do we allow ourselves to limit our chance at love over nonsense? As if the usual haters’ trying to destroy our relationships isn’t enough ammunition, we have to find a reason to shoot ourselves in the foot. I’ve got a news flash for you: Oklahoma is small. Either try out someone new, or move away. Because, in the end, the Merry will Go ‘Round.
Don’t let everyone be merry but you.
~ Stay VANE.
:: Jaren C. Collins, VANE Contributor::