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The Merry Go ‘Round

Apr 23 • Blogs • 262 Views

Everyone has a History. What do you do when it repeats itself?

The night is young so you decide to go out to drinks with your girls. As your thumb swipes through Instagram, with reckless abandon, you cross the “selfie” of a recent suitor. Your heart flutters a bit and you giggle slightly as your best girl spies the face on your screen. “Girl- Is that Chris??! Ew! Ugh… He tried to talk to me last summer. I can’t stand him! He so boring and corny and—“ At this very moment, you’re feelings are crushed. Chris has been nothing but sweet to you. You enjoy his jokes and his corniness. And what she finds boring, you seem to find sincere and rather eventful. But what now? How do you move forward knowing what he has behind him? Then, your mind wanders— “Oh! Wait!! What if they had sex?!?!!”
ScenarioII

Game I of the NBA Playoffs just went off and you are now preparing to reenact that butt kicking with your bro who came into town for the weekend’s festivities. As the game loads, you decide to dive into twitter, headfirst, and you bump into a good ol’ #oomf subtweet from your new favorite chick. You start to type back vigorously when all of a sudden, “Man… Don’t subtweet that hoe!” Caught off guard, you reply back frantic, “Huh?” “Bro… She a hoe. I heard she used to mess with the Thunder.” Now, your mind is in shambles. The Thunder?! He didn’t say “A” Thunder. He said “THE” Thunder. That’s a team! She has a roster? How many? Dang. Who else has she been with? But I really liked her?! How could she— And…

Scene.

This is Oklahoma City. Oklahoma City is a vastly emerging Market. There are new businesses sprouting up every day. New attractions. New Events. Yet, let’s look around— there aren’t very many new people popping out of the sky. While all your friends are either getting married, or pregnant, or both… Dating their off-spring is frowned upon for the next 18 years. And they say there are plenty of fish in the sea, but what if we live in a man-made lake?

The dating game is hard. Don’t make it “All-Madden” with all these extra rules, stipulations, or hoops. Dating is about opportunity. The world is small. Chances are the person you pursue will have a mutual friend that was once the apple of your eye, and there is always the “Yea, I got a homeboy that—“ conversation. Before you start deleting text threads, ask yourself, “What have I done that she wouldn’t agree with? Who have I tried to date that she may not like?” We all have a history. When are we mature enough to look past our pasts and start planning our futures? She dated a fraternity brother you don’t even like and didn’t even know before he was frat… Are you going to de-friend her on facebook? He tried to “talk to” your friend before he even knew you existed. But isn’t she your friend for a reason? She’s a pretty girl and a reflection of you, right?

In a city filled with ordinary people, who know just as much, if not less, as you do about finding happiness in true loving relationships and dating, why do we allow ourselves to limit our chance at love over nonsense? As if the usual haters’ trying to destroy our relationships isn’t enough ammunition, we have to find a reason to shoot ourselves in the foot. I’ve got a news flash for you: Oklahoma is small. Either try out someone new, or move away. Because, in the end, the Merry will Go ‘Round.

Don’t let everyone be merry but you.

~ Stay VANE.

:: Jaren C. Collins, VANE Contributor::

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Food, Fun and Arts!

Apr 18 • Uncategorized • 36 Views

Make sure you check out the Festival of Arts next week, April 23-28th! Some local performers will be setting the stage on fire – you don’t want to miss it!

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Marriage Isn’t for the Week…

Apr 18 • Uncategorized • 49 Views

Today, Jerrell dares us to do one thing: try true commitment. In every facet of life, we make choices with whom we want or don’t want to be with. But why not take that extra step? Let’s see what Jerrell has for us.

There are those who think that marriage is obsolete. That marriage is no longer the safe haven that it used to be. That marriage is more of a hobby than a serious, deliberate decision between two like-minded souls. But marriage as an entity can’t really be the problem, is it? How can marriage actually hurt more than help? How does two people giving their lives to one another damage anything? Well, the answer is simple. It doesn’t.

Marriage is a vehicle. That’s it. Marriage doesn’t make you a better person and it definitely doesn’t make you worse. What marriage does is allow you to exercise your desire to involve someone in your live on a more permanent basis. But being that marriage is indeed a vehicle; those ill suited to get behind the wheel need not open the door. And therein lies the dilemma: people trying to operate the vehicle of marriage when they still haven’t taken driver’s ed. or don’t even know how to use training wheels. Marriage doesn’t work when people don’t know what they are getting into.

Being that marriage is not the issue, then what is? Commitment. In 2013, commitment seems like a joke to most people. Back in the day divorce was very rare. Now people are having fly by night weddings, overnight engagements and the rate at which infidelity occurs is staggering. Television promotes promiscuity, sex is involved in selling every product from shoes to domain names and people just don’t take the time to get to know one another.

I dare you to commit. I dare you to give yourself to someone and truly decide to follow through with your intentions. Be real with that voice in the back of your head and if you aren’t ready to settle down then DON’T. Stop playing games and know that marriage is not for the week. So please stop acting like it is.

::Contributed by Jerrell Trulove::

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It’s Playoffs Time with Your OKC Thunder!

Apr 18 • Uncategorized • 48 Views

Where will you all be watching the first round of the playoffs!? The Oklahoma City Thunder face off with the Houston Rockets this Sunday, April 21st at 8:30pm CT!

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A Little Body Art, Will You

Apr 16 • Uncategorized • 36 Views

May is coming up quickly! We at VANE support the arts and all that other amazing stuff! Check out the Muse Art Expo on May 1st! Details below…. #StayVANE

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Chivalry is Dead.

Apr 9 • Blogs • 52 Views

For those who shot the Sherriff and his chivalrous companion, The Deputy.

You already know that you’re beautiful.

You could have any man in this world if you put your mind to it.

And most men don’t require that much.

Why should he open doors? You can do that for yourself.

Why should he foot the bill? You can afford much more.

You can do it for yourself.

Die, Chivalry. Die.

Love? What’s love got to do with it?

Everything. Yet, nothing at all. Chivalry isn’t love. Chivalry is, however, a necessary requirement, in the “love” arena, that has gone undone for far too long. There was a time, not too long ago, when it was cool to open doors. It was cool to walk on the outside of your partner so you could shield her from any oncoming dangers. It was cool to open doors, not just when she was getting into a car, but also when she was getting out of the car, going into her home, a restaurant, a new building, or even the church house.

It was cool.

Yet, it’s not cool anymore. It struck me like lightening one evening, as I was taking a young lady out to dinner. I called ahead to let her know I was arriving and I would meet her at the door. And she excused me, “No! No! You don’t have to do that. It’s fine.” As I pulled up to her place, I parked the car and exited the vehicle only to be hurried back into my car, “No! Stop! You don’t have to do that. I got it.” She went on, “The Gentlemen thing. That’s cute! I get it. But you don’t have to do that for me.”

Cute? Puppies are cute. I’m a grown ass man.

I was raised, by a woman better than most, to respect all women regardless of how fine she is, well put together she may be, or how “independent” she proclaims herself. Chivalry is not a requirement. It is a rite of passage. As a man, I shouldn’t have to be required to pick up the tab, open doors, or accompany you. I should know to do so because that is what a man does. And the moment you “let me off the hook”, is the moment Chivalry takes two shots to the heart.

Chivalry is dead because you killed it by not allowing a man to be a man. Do not lower your expectations or settle for being the “easy going” type. Let us roam free. If you’ve met a good man, he will enjoy pulling out your chair and opening your door because he knows that’s what you enjoy. And if you’re happy, he’s happy. Think twice before you reach out to handle a check, or ask a waiter to split the bill. The game of cat and mouse is cute at the dinner table, but if I insist more than twice, the bill is on you.

Be mindful of the message you send. You have to teach people how to treat you. And if you teach a man, from the beginning, that he doesn’t have to treat you with the level of respect that sincere chivalry requires, then don’t expect roses at your workplace, surprise dinners on a random Tuesday, “Good Morning, Beautiful,” texts, or his jacket when you’re cold. Set the standard. And set the standard high. Because:

Chivalry is not dead.

Until you kill it.

~ Stay VANE.

:: Jaren C. Collins, VANE Contributor::

Will asks long-time friend, played by D.L. Hughley, to “Do the Chivalry Joint.” In which D.L. must be reckless, relentless, and downright rude to a woman in order for Will to swoop in, becoming her knight in shining armor, to save her.

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VANE Issue 3.1 | Now Available!

Apr 7 • Blogs • 44 Views

We are excited! It is a new year, which means a fresh perspective and new goals and successes! We have made a few changes already and soon we will release some new additions to the VANE world. We are ready to engage you in luxury, style, and so much more. Indulge in VANE Magazine with our first issue of the year: VANE Magazine Issue 3.1. #StayVANE

VANE Issue 3.1 | Now Available!

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En Garde…

Mar 25 • Uncategorized • 369 Views

All we have to say is… What is the dating world coming to? Well Jerrell has another eye opener for those willing to venture… Check it out!

Picture this. You are having dinner with friends. Jokes are being told as laughter echoes from the ceiling. And then you see her. Stunning, radiant, confident woman. She couldn’t be any more perfect if you had been given the blueprint and the clay and made her yourself. You lock eyes. The both of you smile and look away nervously. It seems as though there is a genuine attraction between the both of you. What you are feeling could be far fetched. It could be silly. But it cannot be denied that there is, in fact, something there.

You excuse yourself from the table, gather your composure, fasten the top button of your blazer and begin your journey to the other side of the room. You arrive to smell the aroma of Victoria’s Secret: the Jesus collection. Or at least that’s what it has to be because she smells too good to be wearing a scent crafted by mere mortals. You introduce yourself with a confident smile, fresh breath and enthusiasm to spare. She gazes at you and smiles a pearly white smile. She then leans over and whispers in your ear ever so gently…………..”I just popped a molly and I’m sweatin.”

Ladies and gentlemen welcome to 2013. Where nothing is as it seems. Welcome to the new generation. Where our lives are ever permeated by swag, Yolo and a never-ending onslaught of social slurs and risque behaviors that have smelted into one another to create a blurry, vague blob of awkward soup. The funny thing about this generation is that it seems as though a vast majority of people seem to have relaxed their standards in the face of potentially the worst pool of candidates ever to exist since the dawn of humanity. So what is a man or a woman to do?

The answer is easy. Get pickier. Be more strenuous in your choices. Wait longer to get intimate. Act as if the very next person you meet could be your husband. Once you tighten the reigns then watch everything fall into place. So to this generation of my peers I charge you with the task of doing better, seeking better and demanding better. Because the consequences could be dire. And nobody likes a sweaty woman. En Garde.

Stay VANE.

::Jerrell Trulove, VANE Contributor::

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March Madness: Not Your Average Bracket

Mar 22 • Blogs • 143 Views

March Madness: From Starting 5 to Championship Rings.

It’s Friday afternoon, and you’re scrolling through your inbox. As you sit in the living room of your well-furnished apartment, you ask yourself, “What am I getting into tonight?” Name after name scrolls by endlessly until one name pops up. “Eh… Maybe.” Then, the next, “Well, she does have good conversation.” Suddenly, there she is! Your star player! And the announcer blares through the room:

“Starting at position 1, the All-American equipped with a banging body, great conversation, and an even better smile, it’s—“

But then you remember. She’s got to work tonight. Keep scrolling.

A few seconds later you come across another name, and again the announcer blares aloud:

“And, starting at position 4, the powerful mind with a decently cute face AND she’s available tonight, it’s—“

It’s your roster.

In this day and age, it seems everybody has one. Not many people are courting anymore. All night phone calls are few and far between. They have been replaced by constant text messages and late night cake sessions. And, in a world where minimal human interaction is the norm, why not expand your horizons to interact with 5 instead of investing time in 1? It’ll definitely keep you entertained.

For years, we’ve heard guys run through the list of women that they are “kicking it” with. As a man, I am well aware that many women judge you by who is on your team. In fact, many women, lately, are padding their rosters as well. No longer are the days where women wait around to get hurt. If you don’t act right, it is, as Beyonce’ put it, to the left, to the left.

As men, we can’t be mad at women for having their team, and they can’t be mad at us for having ours. After all, that’s not your girlfriend, and you are not her boyfriend. I mean, what’s wrong with casually dating, anyway, if it’s good harmless fun? No attachment. No feelings. Just shooting the breeze. At the end of the day, it’s just like everything else in this world — Easy.

Or is it?

Running text messages like layup drills. Dating around like pre-season scrimmages. All of it leads up to the season where you’re working towards your championship so you can get that “ring”. So as you’re learning your roster, noting your star players, running plays, and winning games, remember that you are playing for keeps. Regardless to what league you are in, there will be wins and losses, people will foul out, and it can, and will, get technical. Don’t enter the league, if you aren’t prepared to play. Eventually, you’re going to want to retire, with a ring on your finger, and end up in somebody’s Hall of Fame.

#StayVANE

~Chris Collins

Thoughts? Questions? Comments? Follow us at @VANEMAGAZINE to join the conversation.

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All Roads Lead Home.

Mar 5 • Uncategorized • 420 Views

This week Jerrell has us thinking twice about those careless nights some venture into… We may be running from the inevitable: All Roads Lead Home.

A few weekends ago I was asked to tag along with a group of international students to a local nightspot to check out the ladies. While at this club I began to just watch and observe how people interacted with one another. How people let go of their inhibitions and went crazy or did the exact opposite and played the background. While at this club I had an epiphany. A revelation of sorts. What I realized is simply this: No matter what your reason for being out an about, all roads lead home. That’s right. ALL roads lead home.

I began to take notice of all of the different personalities ranging from the crazy cowgirl grinding on random dudes to the shy guy standing in the corner just sipping a beer. I soon realized that whoever these people were and whatever they were dealing with personally was of no consequence because after last call they all had to go home. After all of the alcohol wears off and the sweaty clothes hit the hamper all roads lead home. Those same problems and insecurities you had before you hit the bar and went crazy or sunk into a corner alone eagerly await you when you open your eyes the next morning.

I’m not trying to deter anyone from going to the club and having a good time. I encourage it even. But I get sad at the thought of how many of these people are getting drunk as a means of coping with whatever is ailing them. Trying to run away from something they can’t escape. Or the people who want to have a good time but get overcome with fear and trepidation from the sensory overload that is the club scene.

So maybe the next time you are tempted to sacrifice a night of resolution for a night of drunken antics you might consider sitting this one out. Or maybe the next time your mouth gets dry and your brow becomes heavy with sweat at the thought of approaching that eye candy posted at the bar, you throw caution to the wind and ask for that dance anyway. No matter what the prognosis, please remember that all roads lead home. They always do and they always will.

::Jerrell Trulove, VANE Blog Contributor::

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